CUTE BOYS!!!

Sam, San Francisco

2011-04-22T20:15:00.004-04:00

You know the greatest lesson I have learned from blogging? I learned to be so fucking glad that I turned down my journalism master's acceptance, cause if I had gone to journalism school you know what I would be doing? I would be a publicist writing press releases about dog collages to blogs that have been essentially defunct for two years.

But I guess you win middle-aged Ken because I'm asexual now and have grown my nails to be almost a foot long so it's hard to type. (My new thing is trying to get the Guinness world record for not length of nails, but rather, volume of accumulated dirt under nails). Anyways, the point is I have lost my will to make jokes so instead why don't all of you go see some dog collages here.

Is this what publicists do? Do they just wear you down? Do they just tell you about dog collages so much that you are like fine, dog collages are a thing now. Well played then publicist. Well played. But you know who history will remember? Me. The dirtingest nail haver this side of the milky way.

Dmitri, Sydney

2010-11-05T19:11:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Rosie: "This is Dimitri. I can't like-like him because he was my little 12 year old friend when I was about 16. But he grew up pretty fine. He and his little group of buddies are all equally male-model esque and break lots of little indie girls hearts in my hometown. (I use the word 'little' too much.)"

Yup totallly good looking. But I have a philosophical question: do we hate this guy? Like...not hate but would this guy be nice to you even?

Ok wait i have a fully formed thought now: the problem with this guy is either he wouldn't love you enough or if he did love you enough it would break his whole image of being too good for you. He is like, some sort of Chinese finger trap that is made out of paper though so once it traps you you break it right away. (Think about it! it's a good metaphor! I just drunkexplained it)

Also the cigarette pose. please, friend. we all learned how to make our cheeks look skinny yeaaaars (1-5) ago.

Frat Boys, New Zealand

2010-09-06T18:51:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Lucy: "only in NZ"

Well Lucy, I don't know how accurate that is, personally I would replace that caption with "only in every frat house/bachelor party/teen party/boring party in every country ever". But yeah. hot in the faces/bodies. This I will give you.

Also this is me doing an impression of the guy on the right: "hey check dis out. joke over here.durhurhur (dumb guy laugh)"

The Sluttines Bell Curve

2010-08-04T19:06:00.005-04:00

I have been slutting it up quite a bit recently and I had nothing to do at work today. So I made an infographic which I think pretty much sums up everything you need to know ever.

On an unrelated note, I invented a new word: Slunt. Feel free to use it in all contexts to describe anything or anyone.

Cyut Gay, America

2010-05-25T04:42:00.007-04:00

Subnitted by Christine: "This is my gay brother's gay roommate. He's probs the cutest thing ever to roam the earth. Come on! Look at those hipster glasses. They went to art school together. So typical for the gays. Is it weird that I'm jealous of my brother?

Also, don't worry they graduated from college so he's at least 22! That shouldn't make you feel too much like an ancient dinosaur (don't worry, I'm in the same boat)."

Woah your gay brother's gay roomate, this guy is pretty gay amirite? I likes it. But 22...ewwww...so old. It doesn't even have a teen suffix.

Matt, Boston

2010-05-01T04:37:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Heather: "This is my good friend Matt...[blablabla]..., and was always polite to the little fan club of girls that followed him around at school...is the only person I know that kept their eyes open for the entirety of 2 Girls 1 Cup."

This is exactly the makeover I tried to give Will the Mormon a few days ago. I totally should have given him those "rock" earrings though to complete the look though. Kudos Matt, Kudos.

I don't know what it is about this look that works so well for even the homeliest of twentyteens but it does. It is the perfect transition look for teens/Mormons/Christians who want to switch from Christian side hugs to front hugs/dry humping once they get to the big city and away from mom and dad.

So Awesome Video!!!

2010-04-27T07:11:00.001-04:00

But What Makes You Like Like on Vimeo.

I am getting multimedia up in this betch! But don`t worry MS Paint I will NEVER forget you.

Freddy D: International Sensation!!!

2010-04-21T08:02:00.007-04:00

Hey remember my male model muse/token mixed race hipster model Fred D.?

Well now he is an international sensation and he is gonna be showin' up on billboards in ya areaaa!

I am going to big him up now using a quote from my new favorite blog :

"Now we in the penthouse. They in the lobby. Gucci frames on. I don't see nobody."

That's so Fred right now. I bet. Not able to see anybody because of his dark sunglasses inside. Don't forget to throw some room service down into the lobby plz. tx.

email FAIL

2010-04-18T06:09:00.003-04:00

"hie em manish..
em 1st yr stdent..
em 19 yr old..
ma height iz 5'9"
weight 60
chest 36

cntct no. -------------
hope u like ma pics..
thnkyew..:)"

hello em womanish. em 25teen. Em don no what is measurements are (yes i do). Em scared that u pics r virus. R U ESL? Hope so ;) thanks yew!!!!!

Ivo, Netherlands

2010-04-13T08:01:00.002-04:00

Submitted by Veeviian "This here, is the lovely Ivo. He's from the Netherlands and can be found looking adorable while pulling off those sunnies, playing his guitar and writing songs. i believe he well deserves his title in being a cutie, agreed?"

You know what? I don't even know anymore...how old is this person? twelveteen? I think I like olds now. Nice name and being from a country I don't know much about though. Exoticism is always a treat!

Will, Utah (one can only assume)

2010-04-06T20:15:00.007-04:00

" This is Will. I knew him when he lived in my hometown for a little bit. Good looks and he is a wholesome Mormon boy as well"

I have quite a few comments about this one. First of all, boys think that they can trick people with flattering camera posing because they don't know the hours, nay, the years that women and gays spend in front of the mirror practicing that shit not just for photo use but for all the time. Maybe I'm cray cray but does anyone else out there constantly hold their face in a concious pose? In public mine is usually of adorable confusion and surprise. Anyways, dude is sucking in his cheeks and pursing his lips.

Second, I have finally switched to actual photoshop instead of ye olde photoshoppe aka MS Paint. And although it's still obvious, it's less obvious, and I have to tell you that I gave this guy a much needed haircut of a lifetime. It definitely had "wholesome mormon boy" written all over it before.

Lastly, let's get serious folks. I really don't want to be mean. I want to be all about love and appreciation for the less attractive sex and give props to all you teens and twentyteens. But am I really sending the message that "A Wholesome Mormon Boy" would be something I wouldn't reflexively hate on? Mormons spend a third of their salary on the church! That is the mink coat and grillz money!!!! If God didn't want minks and grillz he wouldn't have invented them and given them such a glamourous sheen!!!

Also, I don't remember where I heard this, but I heard that Utah is completely surrounded by a deep gulch that is full of snakes. I know that sounds like a lie from the liberal media but I trust in that very same liberal media!!!!! Can someone back me up on this?

Mormon side hugs for all!!!!

Paul, High School

2010-03-08T11:26:00.004-05:00

Submitted by Zoe: "This is Paul. I went to high school with him and we were....just acquaintances. :( But I (and everyone else) admired from afar. Adorable and a HUGE nerd! Such a perfect combo."

My friend was telling me the other day about when she met Elizabeth Hurley. Apparently when you see her in real life her nose is grotesquely long and her cheekbones are so pronounced that they seem like ceiling fan buttons crookedly crazy glued to her face and that in real life she is basically a gargoyle. But she photographs gorgeous. That's how I feel about this guy a bit.

Steve, Estados Unidos

2010-02-25T06:10:00.003-05:00

(photo removed)

Submitted by Samuel: " This is Steve. He is in my organic chemistry class. I was too scared to introduce myself to him. But now we've had lunch together and we're going to a movie next weekend. He calms my nerves because he is so chill and fun. :)"

Ok first of all I knoooow I haven't posted in two months. You think it doesn't kill me. Jesus! (and I am pronouncing that J like H, like how it's pronounced in famous sport in Jai Alai).

Part of the reason is that you keep sending me pictures of people who are like 12 year old Jonas Brothers half naked...DUDES...I can't post those pictures. Like legally I probably can but...fack. Hesus. I'm 25teen!!!!

But when I got this picture of Sassmaster Flash just after yelling at my prof "YOU DON'T KNOW ME" I was inspired to live another day...pursing my lips and wearing sunglasses in class.

So the moral of this story is...if you send me more pictures of sassy gays I will post more jokes and also...learn to stand up to authority without crying by creating a roster of sassy gay man faces with angel wings that fly around my head constantly and tell me to keep it flashy.

Quinn, Illinois

2009-12-12T12:51:00.003-05:00

Submitted by Anon (but I know you name! so much power!): "This is Quinn, my high school boyfriend's best friend, who I always had a little crush on"

It's funny that you say he is from America when those are clearly canadian twenty dolladolla billz. It looks like they are having a really zany time on a roadtrip to the Toronto suburbs. Unless this is a fake fun photo.

Like this one time in Paris I saw an American teen couple looking really scared of all the scary black people on the metro and cowering with their backpacks. But then the boy said something like "hey watch me TAG this train. That means graffiti on it in the hip hop language. P.S. I'm really white" Then the girl took a video of him tagging the ceiling. Then he put some kooky star sunglasses and a fake mustache, they took a bunch of pictures, then they went back to not smiling and looking scared of the world.

The world is a lie!!!!!! is all I'm saying.

Eric, Arizona

2009-11-15T17:31:00.002-05:00

Submitted by anonymous: "this boy is eric. eric makes me so nervous that every time i see him, i lie to myself and say that he doesn't remember me from the only time we ever talked at a (read: drunken) party. i do that because i have made up a persona so perfect about him that i refuse to break it by actually getting to know him. It's better that way."

Ya good call. That white guy fro could go either way. E.g. cool i like the modern rock and\or roll music on the one hand, "look at me it's zany eric with all the seinfeld quotes" on the other.

Bobby from Bobby submitted via Bobby's email

2009-11-01T12:56:00.004-05:00

So this is Bobby. At first you may think there is something weird going on with his face but I think it's just that the headband is unaturally furrowing his brow making him look like an angry pho-eating cartoon character who's evil power is to eat all your noodles and meat and only leave you the broth and the MSG. But if we ignore the furrowing, the headband, and the clothing, he's actually a good-looking young gentleman.

Also this picture is funny: "no credit cards, only cash" it's like the perfect metaphor for Bobby, I bet.

Mushroom Dude, Chicago

2009-10-22T06:42:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Philippe: "This is the Mushroom dude at the local Farmers' Market in Chicago"

Wait so is he the dude who sells eating mushrooms to the bourgeoisie? Or is he the guy who skulks around whispering "hashish, marijuana, shrooms" to all the people who look like people of ill repute* coughmecough. He looks like he could go either way.

*does this mean prostitute? I hope not. I just meant people with a general air of mank.

Drew + Friend, Glorious Canada

2009-10-18T07:48:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Emily: This boy is my highschool crush. The first one was taken his last year of highschool (2 or 3 years ago) and the second one is more recent. Notice the great additions in the second picture? The subtle beard scruff, and cute toque. To die for.(....I have him on facebook, haha). To this day I have not gotten over this crush, and would give anything for an exuse to talk to him, and for him to have to reply, hahaha.

I don't know...I think he looks better without the beard. I don't like the shape of that beard it's too, on his neck. My friend met this guy the other night who had had all his facial hair laser removed to keep a look of eternal youth, he was gay obviously and apparently a little crazy but...maybe this could be a new trend for straights with extra disposable income?

I was talking with this same friend and we were comparing style of different cities and countries. He was all bla bla bla NY is the best because he had lived in NY. And then I was like, people in Toronto have kind of good style sometimes? And he was like "all the have is toques. That's their style. Toques*." Ya. touche I guess.

Anyways. So from what I gather Emily wants this guy to know that she submitted him so that they can finally have their long lost love? So I'm going to put an Oprah-like pedophile watch out to all you people except instead of looking for a pedophile so we can arrest him, we are looking for this guy somewhere in Canada (Toronto?) and telling him he's on this website so we can looove connection him. Got that? Everyone look outside your windooows....Now!

*ps american: toque means hats like that. i think you call them beanies or something else equally puh-thetic?

Dusty, America

2009-10-15T17:21:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Elizabeth: "I'm submitting a photo of my dear husband, Dusty--I call him my Dustbunny. He is the quiet, musician type but with a great sense of humor [...blablabla I have the best husband -ed.]"

I'm sold. Totally babe. Though in this picture, if he wasn't wearing his plaid shirt and leather jacket he could be mistaken for an entirely different character a la Gummo.

Sidenote: Americans! What's wrong with you?!?!?!?!? Why don't you tell me where you're from? That's what Americans do. If you ask an American abroad where they're from they won't say "America" like the humble Pakistanis and Canadians. No they'll say Huntingon, or Hoosierville, or whatever other fucking place they come from and assume you know where that is. That's the spirit of America we're all looking for.

Update: Brandon (next post) is from Nashville

Brandon, America

2009-10-12T10:13:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Amanda: "Hi. I am submitting a picture (actually two) of a cute boy. I have to admit that he is my husband. Is that breaking a rule of some sort? I am sure it is, I should have just lied. I couldn't decide which one of these pictures is better, so I thought I'd leave it up to your editorial expertise. In the second one, he is standing in our motley backyard drinking a cup of coffee, and in the first he's in our shitty hotel room bathroom in Vegas after 3 days of camping. For some reason his nose looks a little bigger in that picture than normal.

Anyway, his name is Brandon, he enjoys nachos, taking pictures, voting for Ralph Nader and being cheap. "

Mark, Middle America

2009-10-08T06:59:00.002-04:00

Submitted by Juli Gdsngds (probably real name)

This is one of the Jonas Brothers right? Wow he looks so down to earth. Those tiger beat profiles weren't lying! I mean...I read the New York Times...only.

Party on Dudues [sic] !!!!!!

2009-10-03T04:37:00.003-04:00

Hey dudes. I am on a small hiatus until next week. I just moved to a new country\city and i'm still at the stage where I'm intimidated to order food so am going hungry, which is great and everything cause I am skinny but shitty becuase all I get to eat are water crackers bought from the friendly indian man at the convenience store (he won't judge me, I bet!).

I have a ton of your cutes in my inbox I will post them soon once I get up and at them and have a home, etc.

In the mean time please be inspired by these dancing waving rockstars and "party on" "dudes".

Fernando, LA via Mexico

2009-09-25T10:30:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Renee: "This is my friend Fernando. He's from LA via Mexico but sadly he'll be moving to NYC soon, breaking the hearts of girls all over SoCal. Not only is he one of the most awesome and genuine people I know, he is the only guy who has made out with three girls in my circle of very close friends and we still love him the same."

Pictures like this remind me that I am bound for a life of mediocrity because I can't enjoy things that are too good. Like sometimes I can't watch 30 Rock because I get too jealous of Tina Fey for being funnier than me. Or I can't go to concerts that are too awesome because I get sad that I am not in the band and that I do not, in fact, "rock". In the end, I just end up watching real housewives of NJ so I can feel good about myself.

Similarly, looking at this picture just makes me sad. When I got it I felt a distinct sinking in my heart and then I went and made a sandwich (it was lunch time and I was planning on making a sandwich anyways...but still).

Zach, L.A.

2009-09-23T12:41:00.003-04:00

Submitted by Bridget: "This is my friend Zach. He lives in LA. He is the cutest boy ever. Although we are super good friends and he has a gorgeous and awesome girlfriend, we did make out once at a party when we were in college. He doesn't make me nervous, but he used to!!!!"

As someone who has never been to L.A. this seems like the quintessential L.A. person to me. It's not his long curly blond hair, or his surfer tan or the fact that he makes American Apparel look like "club wear" instead of house party or barfing in the bushes wear. It's more this L.A. androgynous thing he has going...which is not like NY androgynous where people look like sexless rectangular robot aliens...L.A. androgynous is like a drawing by a little kid learning to draw who doesn't realize that you only put those six lines for eyelashes on the girl drawings and that the boys get two circles and three line bicycles instead. But I guess that "poorly drawn" quality is an L.A. trademark (see: boobs, noses, brow lines)

p.s. "gorgeous and awesome girlfriend" booooring. Although I like it in the context of having made out with him...it really is like The Hills over there!!!!!!! Jealous.

Jurgen, Paris via Munich via the past

2009-09-21T06:32:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Jurgen, photo by Oliviero Toscani, 1979. Suit by Guy Dormeuil.

I had the honour of exhibiting with Jurgen Ostarhild this week, and he sent me in this picture to prove that he was once a cute boy himself. Thanks to all of you who flew in from your respective countries to see the show. As I was not there for most of it I will only assume that this is what you did. Also that you are invisible elves and that's why no one saw you as the gallery was slowly but surely inundated with crickets.

While we were setting up Jurgen fell from a ladder and hit his head on the wall. There were a few terrifying seconds where he lay motionless on the ground and we all thought that maybe he was dead or broken. But then, he rose again, like an eccentric silver-haired german phoenix from the ashes, that or Jesus.

So Fun Event for Winners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-16T10:23:00.012-04:00

Oh this poor teen British boy. All he wanted to do was travel to Paris with his slightly post-pubescent girlfriend and pass himself off as a twenty-something hipster. Now look at him, he

is the unwitting poster boy for everything I have done, and ever will do.

On that note. I am part of a so fun event this Friday and Saturday in Paris. Although not many of you "live" in "paris" I will post it anyways to show what a Paris winner I am. Also maybe one day some French people learn English , decide to find out who is the top winner in Paris (maybe it is them? they will ask themselves), Google "Paris + Winner" then see that, oh no it is not they who hold that spot. It is I. I!

I am just going to post the text from the Facebook event now because I am also a winner of cut and paste:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Location:Door Studios, 9_9 bis Lediguieres, Paris, France
Time:12:00PM Friday, September 18th

As part of the Paris-wide beauty event, les Rives de la Beauté, Door Studios is opening its doors to a selection of exhibitions and workshops to examine the link between beauty and image.

-Photo projections by Jurgen Ostarhild and Marie Richer

-Exhibit of selected works by Jens Stuart

-Beauty workshop by Louise Wittlich

Links:

Jurgen Ostarhild

Jens Stuart

Louise Wittlich

Door Studios

Rives de la Beaute

Nick, Australia

2009-09-14T09:06:00.007-04:00

Submitted by Hayley: "This is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Nicholas. Apart from being ridiculously adorable, he has mad skillz in everything he tries - especially photography and all things musical. He moved to Melbourne a few months ago, much to my chagrin. I miss his orsumness."

Not a very good best friend then is he? JK (funny!) I'm sure he's orsum. I can't really see his face though I'll be honest. But considering that today in my mailbox I had the choice between Nick and a picture of a nude obese man I chose the latter, thought better of it, then chose the former.

Barny, Philipines via France

2009-09-12T10:55:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Carla: "This is Barny, I met him when he came to the Philippines for an internship (he's French, but im Filipino) and he is seriously THE most good looking man i have ever seen EVER "

I agree that this person is handsome in the face. But he looks like a typical French douchebag to me. I'm sorry. I was walking around the 16th in Paris yesterday (aka douchebagvilleland) and now I'm traumatized by people like this 4 EV R.

Todd, America

2009-09-10T10:27:00.008-04:00

Submitted by anon. "This is my guy friend that i thought i was in love with but i'm not (uhhh...) and he's weird but beautiful and fun."

I don't think we have to state the obvious with this picture. The obvious not stated being that this guy looks mentally retarded. We'll have to trust anon that he's beautiful because it's impossible to tell. But what's more beautiful than a guy with a sense of humour, a sense of humour that includes imitating retarded people?

Except in the case that he's actually always like that...which is just super too!

Fabien\Rabbit, Paris

2009-09-07T11:23:00.010-04:00

Here are some pictures from this totally wild and crazy photoshoot I did in the rain with the always loveable and old enough to have been your teen dad, Fabien Fabre. You are probably just totally wilded and crazied out by our wildiness and crazyiness.

The photos actually tell a story:

-First it is raining and the rabbit is really sad about his leather bag getting wet (the one he acquired in a David and Goliath battle against a cow which he won by hopping on its head until it went cuuhrazy and then rolling it up in a carpet and throwing it off a bridge).

-Then the rabbit gets attacked by flying pieces of wood (the spirits of the cow's clam friends from under the sea, avenging his death).

-He escapes [not pictured...escape too sneaky to capture].

-Then it stops raining but he still sits there looking sad with his umbrella inside-out cause someone thought it would be cute to lift him up by the ears without realizing that doing that makes bunnies go retarded.

Fabien will be releasing his vinyl ep in October, featuring blablabla ba bla + me in the choir + the other people in the choir (which includes me). I'm about 95% sure that the only reason I was included in the choir was so I would publicize it free...but you know what? I'm ok with that. How else will I share my voice drownded (sic) out by many other voices with the world? Ein? You tell me.

If you are in Paris-town the release will be September 21st in the evening time at Les Disquaires in the 11th. Though since most of you are in oonst-versbalkat and poland-land and iraq-land and united land of american states, you will only be able to attend in spirit :( but also :) (yay spirit! not just for cheerleaders anymore!)

Rafael, Brazil

2009-09-04T13:58:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Galatea: " I don't know him too well, just through castings (were both in the same modeling agency) he speaks a little bit of english, seems very nice- was looking through his ipod and thought it was kinda funny to see names like jack johnson, soulja boy, counting crows and jarule. now im understanding where all these brazilian models learn their english"

Let me say that, strictly speaking, I don't consider male models "cute". But that being said, I won't kick them out of bed...blog = metaphorical bed.

Also, I'm feeling pretty happy about the fact that Soulja Boy is the ESL teacher for this new generation of male models. Now I can feel safe knowing that when I ask my international lovers to "supah man dat ho" (while referring to my self in the third person) and they will know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Will, Paris

2009-09-02T17:14:00.003-04:00

Will works at the Vans store. Does anyone know what Vans' thing is now? Are they a skateboard brand or are they capitalizing on neo-grunge\neo-hippie thing. Or are they going the way of Roxy by Quicksilver and other brands that were cool to me in my youth so many years ago. This salesperson seems to have all bases covered in any case.

Speaking of how I now refer to my youth in the past tense, this l'il guy seemed scared of me. Not in the OMG you're so babe way, but in the agh you're an old monster trying to steal my youth via your olde tyme magical picture box way.

Fabien, Paris

2009-09-01T11:37:00.003-04:00

I haven't been out for a full day of picture taking in forever but I'm leaving Paris soon so I figured I should get a few more Franches for the road. I was scared that people were going to be jerks to me though, because I had forgotten if I thought that humanity was essentially good or essentially evil (I was leaning towards evil).

The first boy I fell upon was this intimidating looking character. However, after attempting to act aloof for exactly 3 seconds Fabien turned into a loveable chatterbox who launched into a monologue that went a little like "You're really cool eh? and brave! Cool and brave. Do you think people in Paris are jerks? They probably don't even get you right? They probably don't even understand that you're like this totally cool girl because they're so not cool here." OMG that's so true! All of that. I am so cool and brave and the best!!!!! I forgot for always somehow.

Fabien is a musician\fashioney person, but I think that his real calling is building a Tony Robbins-style empire. One that would encourage all the nerdy white girls into believing that they really are as great as their moms say they are.

David, Paris

2009-08-31T08:49:00.002-04:00

I interrupted David's lunch by the city hall to take his picture. After the first few shots he decided he wanted to spike his hair and remove his tupperware from the picture. Personally I prefer the first shot, especially the tupperware...so sensible!

Also, just an aside, David kept referring to me in the formal "vous" which made me feel like an old. Why does everyone think I'm thirty when I'm only late 20s?!!??! God.

Christian, Hawaii

2009-08-29T04:56:00.002-04:00

Submitted by Paige* : "This is Christian, he lives in Hawaii, and he likes to spearfish LOL"

Have you ever been to one of those international cultures of the world shows where you are promised lots of delicious free samples but instead what you get is the most attractive representative each country could find doing something innoffensively "cultural" e.g. dancing a dance and handing out hard candy (India) or wearing a tasteful black scarf and then cutting off your hand if you try to take a free sample (Saudi Arabia)?

Well, this is Hawaii's pick for next year's show. He will be spear fishing out of a kiddie pool then handing out shell necklaces to all the pretty ladies of the world...if they promise to visit...BEAUTIFUL HAWAII...wink.

*Thanks a lot "Paige" or should I say "Hawaiian ministry of tourism"?Puh.

Sassy (not magazine), Paris

2009-08-28T12:38:00.002-04:00

I don't want to be a racialist or a gayist. But if I had to make up a list of people most likely to sass me for no reason other than to hurt my feelings, it would be this guy.

Luc, Le Pop-In

2009-08-26T11:19:00.006-04:00

You know, I hate being a jerk. Nay. I love being a jerk, but more in the making fun of people as they are walking away way, not in a public forum like this. (Even though insulting someone over internet is like writing an insult in a bottle and throwing it into the ocean, but anyways.

It is hard to not fall into being a jerkstore, because my first reaction to almost all the pictures are to make fun of them in my head. Maybe it comes from years of training (at least 2yrs) looking at Facebook profiles in my underpants and yelling "puthetic!" at the computer screen, while eating fishsticks and smoking scavenged cigarettes my roomate has foolishly failed to smoke down to the bottom.

I am just going to say one mean thing about this guy though. He looks like he learned what a cool outfit looks like via a text-only document, and then proceeded to buy the absolute worst version of each thing listed. There I said it. But I like skinnies. And boy is he skinny!!!!!

Vince, Philippines

2009-08-24T05:40:00.003-04:00

Submitted by Anon. : " This is Vince--half-Canadian, half-Chinese. He's pretty much perfect. He plays for the national baseball team, for his school's volleyball varsity, he's charming, he's a leader, he plays the drums and he's a straight-A student. Oh, and if it wasn't obvious enough, he's gorgeous."

OMG! It's Filipino Archie Andrews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wangstaz, San Diego via Los Angeles

2009-08-22T05:39:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Anon: Took photos of these three friends from L.A. Mcoy (left), Mark (middle) and Ron (right) in San Diego. They seemed to be having a geat time, and stole a snapshot of the friends being plane (sic) crazy.

Did any of you guys accidentally see that terrible movie Gran Torino? When I watched it all I kept thinking was "yeah right, as if there is such thing as these scary asian gangs. way to take some half-assed stand against racism. lame" then I made chinky eyes with my friends and we laughed the night away.

The worst thing an american-asian has ever done to me is crowd me on the sidewalk for no reason. Or else counterfeit Canadian money in his dorm room bathtub. Or else run a massive pot-growing operation from his parents' suburban home with positive final outcomes for everybody. ;)

But if we ignore the wholesome happy smiles and the sassy pout the guy in the back is giving,...these L.A. asians look like real gangstaz! Maybe they really do exist! Like Tinkerbell or some drug that if you eat it you get skinny but still get to keep your teeth (sigh, if only)

Are all your asians like this L.A.? Is that why you are city of midwestern dreams?

Ben, At a pajama electro party in the woods

2009-08-20T04:17:00.002-04:00

Submitted by Anonymous: "This is Ben. He's alternative, smart, funny, horribly sarcastic, and one of the nicest people I've ever known. He thinks he's really shoddy, but he so isn't. I wish I could tell him that, but alas..."

What do you mean shoddy? Like his joints don't bend properly? And if so...when you say he so isn't...does this mean you have evidence that his joints do in fact move with average to above average fluidity and speed? Because that's really important in a relationship*.

*This sentence meant to be absurd not sexual

Male Model Interview: Fred D.

2009-08-17T14:22:00.014-04:00

You may remember Fred from from that amazing captioned photo editorial a few weeks ago. That actually was supposed to be an interview but then I didn't have a pen or paper or any questions prepared. So here is the interview that we did via facebook (I don't know why I even try to do things not via internet). It's strength, as per usual, lies in its ESLiness.

CBMMN: Hey Fred want to answer these interview questions?

Fred: Oui oui pas de soucis Mary ;) [not my name but whatever]

CBMMN: What companies have you modeled for?

Fred: I modeled for SNCF, Palais De Tokyo, M&M's, M'T Dents, O2, Shoes Up magazine, Amusement magazine, les magasins Courir, WWF, WAD, Ligue contre le cancer...

CBMMN: How does it feel to be a FAMOUS MALE MODEL?

Fred: Feel Gooooooood :)

CBMMN: Do you have ONE MILLION GIRLFRIENDS?

Fred: Not really i'm too much kinda atypical for them ;) but if you wanna introduce some to me, that's sounds good haha

CBMMN: Remember when we did that so fun photo shoot?

Fred: Of course yeah, even my shoes when they turned grey remember this?

CBMMN: yes?

CBMMN: Anyways, that was fun right?

Fred: Obviously, and especially when people were looking at me like wtf

CBMMN: Ya they don't even know you.

CBMMN: Has anyone ever told you you look like someone [cause i think you look like Steve Urquelle which is when Steve Urkell drinks the magic potion and becomes hot and cool]*?

Fred: Every fuckin day lol till now I look like almost 50 different people apprently by the people. However I appreciate your compliment thanks. Keep in touch for something one day :)

CBMMN: Ya fun an thank you. As for you being too much atypical, I'm sure the teens of the world will disagree.

*This part Fred tried to erase when he replied. Nice try! That was my best joke!

For another male model interview click here
For another ESL interview click here

Gay Boyfriend on a Pedestal, Paris

2009-08-15T06:11:00.003-04:00

I remember once when I was reading a women's magazine as a teen...or maybe a teen magazine as a child, there was a famous actress saying how she had slept with too many people when she was young and now she was grossed out.

At the time I thought it was a ploy which was intended to make me "get Jesusy with it" (like the hit song by top recording artist Will Smith). But in retrospect I should have listened to the wisdom that only someone famous in an unrelated field to the one they are talking about can have. Because now all I want is a nice gay boyfriend who will never want to have sex (with me), ever.

Raul, Florence via Spain

2009-08-14T09:57:00.008-04:00

Submitted by Alice: "This is a super cute/hot spanish guy my friend and I met in Florence, Italy while we were on a school trip (we're from Milano...). I think it was the first time a girl would ask him to take a picture because he was sooo embarassed (and so were we )"

God why do euro teens always look so alternative? Even though this guy is clearly a normal, he's wearing his university t-shirt for example, he still looks like he is in that hit new band the Beatles.

Why don't our normals look like alts? If they did I could have been spared from years of ill-fitting vintage purchases, drug-use and parties\apartments in dank basements

James, Berkeley

2009-08-11T06:55:00.007-04:00

Submitted by Adrienne: "James can be found looking cute while reading books, programming,or proudly showing off his Caulifower Ears (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cauliflower_ear) from years of competitive wrestling. So cute."

When I first saw this picture I was like "woah babe!" cause I'm Canadian so I get impressed by any American place that was cool once and I saw that movie Berkeley in the 60's. Then I saw the blue hoodie and years of American Apparel advertising on all my favourite websites made me have a Pavlovian reaction.

But I don't know where competitive wrestling fits into my neatly defined categories of human behaviour...it doesn't sound very alternative\indie rock\tektonique. And I haven't read that wikipedia definition yet but the term sounds gross rather than cute.

Upon third reflection I realized that I can't really tell what James looks like from this picture because of the face covering pose. He could either be a cauliflower eared James Franco or a weird crooked face. Ultimately, I feel confused and need a nap now.

P.S. I hope this isn't a sneaky trick to get linked and Cauliflower Ears is just the name of a band that made its own Wikipedia page. Too lazy to check though.

Update: I read the Wikipedia page. Cauliflower ears = Probably the reason for that hoodie...sowwy :(

Rhian, Washington

2009-08-09T06:30:00.002-04:00

Submitted by Christina: "This is Rhian (said like Ryan) and he is the cutest boy I have ever laid eyes on. He is so friendly despite his devastating good-looks. He lives in Olympia, Washington and he works at the local Farmer's Market selling jam. Adorable amirite?"

I wish boys liked girls who worked at some vaguely left wing job as much as girls like boys who do. Life would be so much more of a relax where you had tons of spare time to cuddle furry lil animals and practice your picture face

Friendies, At the Park (ps names and location plz next time)

2009-08-06T17:15:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Paige: "I love snapping pictures of cute boys (especially these two gentlemen!) But they never cease to make me feel awkward about asking for their picture! Luckily the guy on the right tried to ease the awkwardness by pretending to photograph me.. photographing him. Hahaha."

Wow so post-modern. The picture that goes on and on taking pictures of itself until everyone gets bored now. Do you think people are going to stop wanting to take pictures of themselves at parties\outdoor music festivals soon? We're getting old (in internet years) friends. Maybe we shoudl catch on to what the youth are doing. Maybe they are doing something else that will make them internet millionaires just in time for their drug experiment years.

And then us taking pictures of eachother will be to them like...when our older managers at the coffee shop still care about print media and we all lol and lol in the back room while spraying whipped cream into our mouths from the container in a gluttonous rather than sexual way.

Also where do you think this picture was taken? What do you think their names are? What local celebrities do they look like to you?

Edward, Australia

2009-08-03T12:17:00.004-04:00

Submitted by "His name is Edward but I think it should be something more like Luc with a C. I don't even know if he's actually cool or interesting or mysterious at all, but oh my god what soulful cheekbones."

The only thing that makes someone not mysterious is actually talking to them or trying to get information about them. You're better off looking at their totally natural, looking-over-the-shoulder-while-wind-blows-softly-through-their-hair photos and imagining that they have a bunch of super cool projects that you don't know about.

Feeling Scared, Paris

2009-08-01T08:13:00.003-04:00

"oh man, I'm all alone in this sea of gays...Feeling scared. Don't know what to do with my face. Maybe I should clench my jaw muscles. Maybe I should pretend i'm looking at something important in the distance. Where should I put my hands...behind my back? No...too fruity...I can't look happy or people will think I'm a gay and gay at me. I can't look to angry or they will start to pick on me. Ohgod. Why did I mouth off to constable Gaudrault last week...Play it cool Jacques...play. it. cool"

I can't believe I forgot to post this picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awkward straight cops feeling scared are one of the highlights of Pride!!!!!!!!!!!

Roman Rugby Team, Italy

2009-07-30T08:03:00.010-04:00

Submitted by Jessica : "It was June, high Rugby season, and the Roman Rugby team was out in full force. My best friend and I were eating at a tiny restaurant on a side street near the Piazza di Spagna. I left to go to the restroom, and when I came back she was practically in tears, trying to tell me and show me the pictures of what I'd just missed. Frantically, I leaned over the table to see them walking down the street, 8 perfect asses disappearing into the crowds..."

I feel like I am attracted to these people only on some theoretical, cultural vacuum level. But that in real life I would hate them in the personality. Especially if they spoke English, then I would probably hate crime them (e.g. toilet paper their cars (with 1-ply (because I'm poor but still like to have a good time))).

Plus you just know they hang out with Berlusconi at his sexy statuatory rape parties.

Sam & Friends, Manchester

2009-07-28T08:25:00.014-04:00

Submitted by Emma: "Look at this cute boy (the middle one). he is 31 or something, not a tween. i used to work at a vegan grocery store with him in manchester and everyone had to wear a denim apron, we all looked like dicks. But Sam is the cutest! Cutey, cute, cute."

Ya he looks cute. Reminds me of those days where all you wanted was the guy who worked at the vegan food shoppe\luxury cheese store because you knew he was probably smart about things that were important but boring for you, like philosophy and\or veganism.

But how much can we really trust this picture? Vegans are tricky! Always tricking us with their meat flavoured patties and buttery spreads! And here he is clearly tricking us by using these other "urban grocers" to make himself look relatively more attractive.

Example, a lizard is usually considered to fall on the cuteness scale between moderately cute to creepy. Look at this guy, not much going for him in the cute department, except maybe his big eyes and dormant Fern Gully connotations for us olds.

But look how cute he gets once he is joined by his friends, Disgusting Live Chick Embryo and Frat Party Joker Goat:

See...just like I said...tricky.

Aidan, Middle-America

2009-07-26T06:25:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Lynne: " went to this bbq dinner with my friend and I saw this guy who I was told was a model for American Apparel so I asked my friend to take a pic with him"

Man being a model for American Apparel is the new being chosen to dance on American bandstand.

It's really nice how he agreed to take a picture with that withered ghoul...I hope he was nice about it and not just doing it so that he could have an ironic Facebook picture later and change his status to "looves withered ghouls...not! High five! \[] (thumbs up emoticon)"

p.s. is this guy gay or is he gay?

Krazy Teenz, Perth

2009-07-23T08:24:00.007-04:00

Submitted by Lisa: "Hellloooo. Im Lisa. I ran up to these boys & asked for their picture, they stared & said nothing, I said please you're cute, they said okkaaaaay, I took the photo and walked away quickly. I want to marry the guy on the right, then divorce him and marry the guy on the left."

Oh man I totally know that awkward "okkaaaay". It comes from them feeling scared that their carefully created hairstyles and cool, fry-eating facades are going to erode as soon as they have to talk. And from loving you, probably.

And what about middle teen? You don't want to marry him? You could eat french fries in bed and drink coca cola all day long, and when you get accidentally teen pregnant by skinny dipping in the same swimming pool (it can happen!) and become a teen mom you can gel your baby's hair into new and even zanier hairstyles!

Follow my blog with bloglovin

Totally Modern Band, Brooklyn

2009-07-22T05:27:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Georgia: "The singer in my band is now living in Brooklyn with a HIVE of cute boys! And two of them are brothers...squeee!!! I have attached pictures of them in the music room. Unfortuately I am in the pictures too but I look forward to being scribbled out, and rightly so. "

That's weird, I don't see a woman in this picture. All I see is a totally modern experimental music box which means that I probably like this band now.

Edgar, New Jeezy via Colombia

2009-07-20T14:39:00.009-04:00

Submitted by Amanda : "This is Edgar [roll your r's!] he's from Colombia via New Jersey. He works on the boardwalk and we stalked him for three days straight. One day we told him we'd meet him at midnight and we didn't...and he was sad. The next day we were leaving and we'll never forget him."

OMG I love this picture sooooooooo much it brings a tear to my eye. And it's not because I just drank half a bottle of wine by myself while listening to "the greatest love of all" on replay. You know why it is the tearing of eye? Cause it keeps it real!!!! Look at how real everyone is keeping it! I couldn't even draw dragons on their faces!

You know what is not keeping it real, friends?

1-Sending pictures of really young t(w)eens and then saying they are 20. When you're an old like me you can tell the difference.

2-Sending pictures of yourself semi-nude and writing messages like "lol this is this cyut guy everyone loves him at the high school". When you're an old (in internet years) this also is an obvious lie

3-Sending pictures of your boyfriend's band who has less than 100 listens on Myspace and writing "omg this is a so good band that everyone is loving it to the max!" a) no they're not b)my blog won't make them famous. Srsly. Totem pole---->bottom.

Teen, London (Ontario...aka the real london)

2009-07-18T08:42:00.003-04:00

Submitted by Celia: "This is my boyfriend he is 19"

That's not really what she wrote that's just what it looked like to me. It was like when people are on a diet and everyone around them turns into steaming talking roasted chickens. Does that happen to you in real life too? Cause it happens to me all the time.

One time I ate a youtube video because I thought it was a steaming talking roasted chicken.

Hangin' out at Hogwart's, Manila Campus

2009-07-16T09:01:00.004-04:00

Submitted by K.C. "My boyfriend. Tall, dark, handsome and he spoils me!"

Man the Phillipines have really been representing in my inbox lately. I have a question for Filipinos since now I know you're watching. Did you Filipinos like that Black Eyed Peas song
about Filipinos? PS the only reason I know about this song is because I was watching MTV while visiting my parents because I fell back into teen habits while I was there, not because I'm up on the Black Eyed Peas.

Anyhoo, it seemed like an obvious attempt to capture the under-capitalised-upon Filipino market. But it was in Tagalog so maybe it was saying deep things about Filipino identity that I could never understand and it was secretly awesome. Things like "Filipinos are the best" or "hooray for Filipinos".

Can someone Filipino please explain the significance of this song to you in the comments and lay this mystery to rest once and for all?

p.s. don't leave me hanging

Modern Wearer of Underpants, Italy

2009-07-15T15:55:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Kerry: "Last summer i went on a trip and we took ninja shots of all the hot guys so that we could bring them home so all of our friends would be jealous of us"

Does this look like a normal and comfortable way to stand\wear a shirt? Or does it look like this young man is trying to show off his modern designer underpant selection?

BEST FRIENDS: A Paris Story

2009-07-12T12:12:00.033-04:00

"Hey Mang! We're over here! Let's do this fair thing arewerite?"

"I want a slurpee!"

"No not that one! That one mothfucka! JK"

"Sup betches"

"Yeah that's right. We said it"

"You gonna win us a hello kitty l'il guys?"

"Yeah! You did it! Let's get a Cornetto to celebrate!"

"MMMM...Cornetto...I can taste that coney goodness now"

"Should we play this really fun looking soccer game?" "Nah. That shit looks too dangerous."

"Aigh't let's relax and listen to some music and look at our iphones...play it cool if you will"

"Your music selection is weak mang"

"Sigh. Isn't Paris beautiful friends?"

"But srsly. I am getting tired from all this fun."

"Let's smoke some cigarettes!!!!!!!"

"Awww yeah. That's smooth"

"Time for a l'il HP if you know what I'm saying."

"Snape! You mothafucka! You did not just do that. No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always knew you were evil"

"I'm feeling pretty sad about Dumbledore right now. I need a snack to feel better"

"Heehee. I have a little treat for you" "woah man I don't want any of that pink shit"

"Yeah the blue. That's what I'm talking about. A manly colour: powder blue"

"Wow. That was such a fun and exciting day friends. Now it's time for me to crush you for all the lip you've been giving me"

"I'm JK mang. High five"

"You're my best friends! Don't we always have such a LOL time together?!?!?!?!?!"

Thanks to real male model Fred D. for being such a modeling sensation! And to Lucas and Jojo for being their usual, sexy naked selves.

A&F model, London

2009-07-11T08:36:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Agy: "I took a picture with this is an Abercrombie & Fitch model in London. His name is Alex. Too bad he's wearing a shirt. He really made me NERVOUS! "

Ya this guy really looks like an A&F model. And by "looks like and A&F model" I mean he looks really cheesy. It's probably not his fault. A&F was just so tainted by that early 2000s LFO song that it could turn anyone into a cheezy cheez pizza with extra cheez. LFO should probably get sued soon.

amirong?

Anthony, Brisbane

2009-07-10T14:40:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Francesca: "This is anthony, he is filipino/australian, born in canberra grew up in both the philippines + australia- best of both worlds ;p. Bilingual.creative.global.gorgeous. architectural student"

Soo...no use in stating the obvious about this one unless you are someone who watches movies and says stuff like "he's the bad guy!" when someone with big bushy evil eyebrows pulls out a gun and points it at the hero, or else eats ice cream and says "this is sweet and cold!"

Also...is that a Jesus tattoo? Filipino people are pretty religious no? I base this on one incident in high school where I went to dinner at a Filipino friend's house. Before dinner we had to all hold hands and sing a song about Jesus. It was really uncomfortable for me. Not cause I have anything against Jesus. But cause I didn't know the words and tried to mumble sing so they wouldn't know I was a heathen. (They knew).

Killian, Australia

2009-07-09T09:22:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Sahra: "This is my cute boyfriend, Killian."

Micheal? Is that you? You're alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No but srsly. I love how the background of this picture is so...picturesque Australian tundra, while at the same time he has the same steez as every hip internet youth ever.

Sometimes I feel sad that I can't go to foreign countries and impress people with my wacky North American style anymore because they already know all about it + do it better than me.

Sowwy Canada

2009-07-08T09:23:00.006-04:00

This is my friend Keith from Canada. He's looking blue and blurry--not just because I didn't know how to use my camera yet when I took it--but because he's blue in his heart and blurry in his soul about me forgetting Canada day.

It was July 1st but you probably all know that already. Amiwrong?

Does this mean I'm not Canadian anymore? Have I crossed over to the dark world of expat-hood...a life of parties with people who have nothing in common, desperate clinging to anyone who speaks the same language as you and always feeling a bit nervous about making purchases (e.g. a can of coke from the convenience store)?

Sigh. Hope not. Getting fat over here. And not in a good way. Oh wait...there is no good way! H8 U world. Why isn't the world opposite world!!!!!!!!!! (-being from a rich country)

Please don't forsake me motherland. I heart U!!!!!!!!!!!

Taylor, East-Coast? West Coast? Which is the Best Coast?

2009-07-07T14:54:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Anon. "Meet Taylor. He's half-Italian. He surfs. He can quote (with voice effects!) the entirety of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. What more does one need in life?"

What's this whole "surfer" thing. I don't get it cause I'm from middle-Amercanada where the only thing we "surf" is the "internet" for "porn".

I only hung out with real life surfers once, in Avon, North Carolina and they gave us a ginormous pile of coke and I did so much that I had it all over my face like I had just eaten a powdered donut. Then my heart started beating so fast that I passed out in the sand and thought "I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die" over and over for hours while my friend was off making out on the pier. Lolz. Teenagers amirite? So sillay!

Can't Really See your Face I'll be Honest, New York

2009-07-06T13:52:00.006-04:00

Submitted by A. "there are two men in my life, and this is another one my roommate. body-conscious type that cooks gourmet for hi girlfriend and watched shit like jean luc godard.he is korean but grew up in dubai. now he lives with me (ny), i hope het gets a girlfriend soon."

Another Asian I know I know. But they just are the most attractive lately. Maybe if white people stop "looking like bowls of vanilla pudding" and teens stop "sending me pictures that I can get arrested for owning" we could have a little bit more variety, hmmm?

Anyways he doesn't really count as asians because he is one of those alternative asians who has fully adopted the alternative american lifestyle via "watching shit like jean luc godard", drinking beer, wearing a cardigan, cooking gourmet for his girlfriend but also needing a girlfriend...?

Feeling confused...:(

Stephen, Paris

2009-07-04T12:26:00.002-04:00

I took so many pictures of this boy and I couldn't get one where the light was not bouncing off his eyeglass like that. It was like God was telling me "no no...this one was created in my image. Choose him" while beaming rays of light directly at him.

Jesus was asian? Feeling a bit weird about that. But ultimately...accepting my inferiority in stride.

Ben, New York

2009-07-03T10:58:00.003-04:00

Submitted by Anon. "this is my friend Ben - I am totally in love with him but alas he istotally in love with men :("

hey that could be a haiku:

This is my friend ben

alas he is in way love

with all of the men

Poetry am i right? I wonder if emoticons count as sylables? cause if not we could add a l'il :( too

Tsundue, Delhi

2009-07-02T16:22:00.007-04:00

Submitted by L. "The first time I saw Tsundue, I knew I had to befriend him. Not just because he is super cute but also cause he is a talented photographer and honing his skills at an Art school. Most memorable moment was a day spent at a flea market clicking endless photos with dinner at the local Korean restaurant (where they mistook him to be Korean). "

Call me "ignant" but I didn't know there were hip looking people like this in India. Considering I can't leave my house with big glasses without teens throwing things at me in the subway and I'm in Paris, I thought it was impossible over there.

Plus my Indian friend went to India and all her cousins made fun of her for wearing skinny jeans because they thought she was wearing them circa the 80s and that she hadn't realized that the new trend was boot cut (circa the 90s)

Natanael, Paris

2009-07-01T14:38:00.002-04:00

No I'm not trying to pass off a gay from Pride as a straight. There are always this many people on the street. It's called high population density morons. This violent sweaty hellhole of a sidewalk is what your collective dream of travelling to Paris executed at precisely the same moment has created. Swears.

Manny, Puerto Rico

2009-06-30T11:06:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Linda: "This is my boyfriend Manny. He's puerto rican and really nice to look at. ps: I still get nervous every time I see him."

I heart Puerto Ricans 4 ev-r!!!!!!!!!! They who brought us Daddy Yankee, Wisin y Yandel, Calle 13 and so many more top reggaeton acts! I would kill to be at one of their gang-gun-cocaine-high heels-jacuzzi-80s status symbol parties that they have after their concerts I bet.

And by kill "to" I mean kill "myself" because I would be so disoriented and suddenly self aware of my whiteness that I would overcompensate by attempting sexy dancing that my poor pasty legs were not strong enough for. Then later be the only one eating the free shrimp and eat too much of it after having made myself a pariah with comments like "Do you sell drugs! Neat!" or "'me gusta la gasolina' (while making air quotes)...lols... right guys?"

Then I would swim and get cramps in both my legs and stomach and drown.

:( Feeling pretty sad about that imaginary situation. Gonna go dance in front of the mirror\have imaginary witty multicultural conversations with myself to train for the future.

Fahad, Paris

2009-06-29T08:58:00.007-04:00

This l'il adorable was sitting up on a fence looking sooo scared and cute in the heart. I don't know what it is about feeling nervous and socially awkward that makes people want to sit in high places

Either this is done to hide in plain sight or else to return to some pre-conscious feeling of security that came from sitting in a high chair. But achieves neither of these things because

a) you only stand out more and
b)high surfaces without a colourful plastic drink tray to hold you in are dangerous!!!!

I squated on a mailbox the other day and pretended to be a rabbit because I was feeling shy and it was a disaster! People kept trying to kidnap me and make me their pet. And then a happy family started feeding me cat food and I had to eat it or else they would have seen through my ruse! It* was disgusting.

*The happinness of the family

Gheys!!!!!!!!! Paris

2009-06-27T14:51:00.009-04:00

Paris has lived up to its Ghey Paree reputation by once again keeping it ghey this year. If CBMMN were a religion yet, Pride would be its Xmas. Endless crowds of cute boys in their finest regalia (e.g. t-shirts with zany slogans) whose enthusiasm for having their picture taken is second only to third world children. (Zing on the third world!)

From top:

-colour coordinated gheys

-tanned ghey

-bus stop ghey

-happy multi-cultural teen gheys

-sensual dancing lion-man (e.g. an inspiration to us all)

Harlequin Romance\Porn but Real, Upstate NY

2009-06-26T09:39:00.010-04:00

Submitted by Jody: "So I'm getting ready to eat some lunch, when those two yummy goodnesses show up to pave my neighbors driveway. They can pave my driveway ANY day!Unfortunatly I didn't talk to them since that would be VERY awkward, so all I have are some stalk shots of them"

But instead of having her lunch Jody decided it was high time she re-organized her sensual funk music collection by key instead of alphabetical which required her turn the music up really loud. Meanwhile the paving men realized they hadn't brought their paving tools and thought it might be a good idea to ring on Jody's door to borrow her paving tools...but boy was it hot in there. So obvies everyone immediately took off all their clothes to 'cool off' as the man holding the chainsaw in such a way as to show off his muscles casually put it...Then

[edited out for majority tween readership]

Afterwards they all had lemonade and hot dogs. Which they pronounced "hat dags".

Hans?, Germany

2009-06-24T07:41:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Val "This is my boyfriend. He is German. I am 20 and like young-looking boys. He is 22."

I don't want to be ignant about Germans and just assume they are a bunch of guys called Hans who like techno music and currywurst. But...I don't know...doesn't he look like a Hans to you?

Hijinxs, Nanaimo, B.C.

2009-06-23T17:22:00.013-04:00

Submitted by Sarah: After getting extremely drunk I found myself downtown at a bar sans wallet. We tried to convince the bouncer to let me in but I look too young. In my drunken stupour I climbed the fence and landed in thepatio of the bar. As I stumbled over the fence, the voices of two angels told me I was their hero for my climbing ways. I asked for their picture trying to drunkenly explain my quest to send it into my FAV. blog. All that managed to come out was that they made me nervous... I later got kicked out of the bar and never even got their names.. Sigh.

I am on a constant quest to expand my google search ranking power. So far I dominate "cute boys" "cute boys canada" "cute boys europe" and "cute boys UK" narrowly beating out the "cute boys australian nude male art" website for the top spot (smell that? it's called sucess).

So I am going to write the word Nanaimo a bunch of times at the end of this post because having the same word written over and over used to be how you won at internet searches before Google and maybe it still secretly works.

Then if these anonymous boys are feeling bored one day they might try to google search "cute boys nanaimo" and find themselves. Then all three of you will FALL IN LOVE and have an unconventional three-person relationship and make Nanaimo bars and say grace before eating them where you praise the lord for the internet and the glorious motherland.

You could also go to the same bar again with a disguise and they will probably be there because people like going where everyone knows their name. This is a known fact, a fact that has even been turned into a hit song.

Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo Nanaimo

*Update: "cute boys nanaimo" google dominance now official

Karan, New Delhi

2009-06-22T13:06:00.010-04:00

Submitted by S: "I saw this epitome-of-cuteness boy at a friend's after show gathering. Mixed with excitement of Fashion Week and his presence, my friend knew what had to be done. He made this cute boy (Karan Malik) hold up a sign of affection towards [your top blog]"

Srsly...who gets to date the male models? I know that the female models date the photographers and shipping magnates and whatnot, but I'm having trouble figuring out who that leaves for the male models? Is it sexy teens? Millionaire divorcees? Is it even good to date male models?

I think maybe male models just sleep with people all the time. Then everyone can brag about it and no one gets hurt. The boy can walk about pretending he's a real George Clooney, giving high fives to people, sometimes people he doesn't even know! And the girl can be like "I slept with a male model, easy for me, whooo" at her homemade martini night jamboree and then have lots of alcohol left over to accompany her quiet desperate sobbing after everyone leaves. Leaves her all alone.

Nimir, Kuwait

2009-06-20T06:23:00.007-04:00

Submitted by Alanoud: "This is the guy I stalk I know where he lives. He has red porsche. He is a ladies man, womanizer! He doesnt know i exist, (Well, maybe!)He's basically a celebrity. He's everywhere all the time!!!!!!"

I think this is the Kuwaiti version of a gangsta. See how his head thing* is up on the sides? That's like a popped collar.

*ignorant...sooowwwy

Godfrey, Taiwan

2009-06-17T08:10:00.009-04:00

Submitted by Steph who looked really cyut in the picture but rules are rules: "So this is Godfrey Tsao. He's an up-and-coming soap opera actor in Taiwan. One night my friends and I went out to KTV (karaoke), and my friend brought Godfrey into our karaoke room, kind of as a little present to me. I was in the middle of singing when he walked in, and my mouth fell open and my jaw refused to go back up. Then I started screaming/squealing like a little girl in front of Britney Spears circa 2001. So this picture is 100 times more awkward than it looks."

Man...so babe for realz. Especially for an Asian man. No offense Asian men!

This picture brought back a childhood memory. When I was in grade five one of my classmates got cancer and so she got to make a wish from the "make a wish foundation". She was smart and made a double wish (which is what you should always do when you have cancer\a genie) she asked to meet Andrew Keegan at Disneyland. After she brought a home video back of her and her entire extended lebanese family eating lunch with him and giggling. We all thought that this meant she was going out with him because we didn't understand anything about anything yet. Everyone was really jealous and wished they had cancer too.

I wonder what Andrew Keegan is up to? Maybe we can be Myspace friends? I wonder what he looks like\if he would go out with me now. That happens sometimes. Like when I was young I had a huge desperate crush on this Canadian rock star and I would sometimes cry at night about how he would never love me. And now he's 40 and a bartender at a really lame club in Toronto and I'm in my prime and could probably sleep with him now...sleep with him good!

*Update: I tried to friend andrew keegan on myspace but no dice. He doesn't leave that option. I did however find a group on facebook called "I Sang Boyz II Men To a Poster of Andrew Keegan" but they won't let me join. Which is just as well because if I joined it would be fraudulent. I was more of a JTT gal myself.

I'm Old, Paris

2009-06-15T13:31:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Chiara who wrote a really long funny email about being an awkward American teen in Paris trying to hit on this young man and barfing while trying to play it cool and smoke cigarettes and drink vodka (a classic!) but I want to talk about myself right now.

Srsly...I know age is relative and everything and so I can't ask you how old old is and get a definitive answer. But maybe having this teen blog is not healthy. This person actually looks like a baby to me. Like he looks so young that I wouldn't even be scared of him making fun of me in the subway, and that says a lot because I am scared of teens. They're always ready to say the meanest thing! And it's always so true. If they were going to mean at me they would say:

"you are no spring chicken"
"your work skirt suit is neither hip nor professional, you look like a secretary at best"
"you are fat by teen standards" then they would all laugh and give high fives
"we are all going to go have fun, drink wine coolers our parents forgot in the basement and lose our virginities with eachother...sorry...you can't come along...you lost that privilege twenty times ago!"

Then they would all walk away feeling sad inside and singing the lyrics to the latest rap music sensation together and I would be none the wiser. None!

Steven the T.A

2009-06-14T15:07:00.007-04:00

Submitted by Sau-Wai: "Introducing Steven who was my 2nd year organic chemistry TA!! So cute I had to ask him out (a big no-no) but we are still together 2.5 years later!! Sadly, he still makes me nervous!!"

Ya he's making me nervous too with them crazy eyes. I find this Steven is the most attractive when I imagine him as being part of some zany London band that uses lots of keyboards and drugs. Otherwise he is a little bit too "organic chemistry" if you know what I am saying. But I am well aware of how TA-ness automatically doubles hotness points.

In fact I had a similiar experience. It was in 2004 I remember it well because we were having a party for the American elections and to celebrate the imminent dethroning of the mentally disabled community's most successful member. The party was called "Bush: get off the map stay in my lap" and the invitations featured beautiful drawing of a woman's open legs (copied from an issue of 70s Playboy) but instead of a vagina there was Bush's face (copied from the economist with Napoleon Dynamite-like precision) and instead of regular hair he had pubic-hair hair. Hilarious. I think I still have a copy in a box somewhere. Or else my grandma has it in a frame.

Anyways, during our Anthropology of Pop Culture seminar we had a very "hip" balding guest-speaker who had "gone undercover" with "ravers" and written his PhD about their secret society. It was all very "uncool" but there was something about someone talking into a microphone in front of a group of five hundred people that made him seem so...bold...and...powerful.

So at the break we presented both him and our mid-50s eastern european (dream boat) professor with the pornographic invitations. After the class in the lobby we went up to the men again and tried to be casual and be all "heyyy whooo so are you gahys coming to that partaaay" and the guest speaker took me aside, held me by the side of the arm and said "we have wives" in a really assholey condescending way. Which was embarrassing for a second but in retrospect, eww...didn't want to sleep with you...just wanted you to come to my party to validate my existence. puh.

Super Old Dude, L.A. via Japan

2009-06-12T08:11:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Joan: "this is my ex. he was nice but super old (25) so I questioned his motives all the time for dating an 18-year old, like, it's my own fault for super being into old dudes, but still?? also he was a DJ and my great weakness is boys who DJ!!!!""

Oh no! Not 25!!!! I bet his prostate was ginormous! Did he even have any teeth left? Did he have Alzheimer's? Did he wear adult diapers while he dj'd golden oldies? Did he mistake you for a hat?

Gimme a breaaaaaaaaak teens! I need a breaaaaaak! A breaaaak! When I was a teen I was dating pervy 30 year olds on welfare. Ha I'll show you old! Take that! I mean...boh :( gross memories last forever.

Crazy News! That Once Explained is No Longer Crazy!

2009-06-10T14:29:00.005-04:00

I just moved to a neighbourhood where everyone is thinner than me. In Paris each area is numbered from 1-20 and I live in area 2 which means I have to be a size 2 (it's actually a law).

In my lobby there are some offices where skinny ladies type all day on macbooks looking surly and they had a sign up today for a modeling audition and it made me want to BARF ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE.

But when I got home today it was a MALE MODEL CASTING! Yay!!!! A momentarily pleasant surprise!!!!

The picture was taken from my window. What you see is: the window across from mine and one floor below, a blue tarpolin, a male model with a charming tribal tattoo (he seems like a real renegade...if they need models for a tilly hat or teeva campaign he's a shoo in!)

Anyways, I took this puh-thetic picture instead of real ones because

a) I'm scared of the women at the modeling agency
b) I felt it would generally be socially unacceptable and result in some really awkward situation for everyone especially me
c) Male models...shmeh...not cute. I gave some directions in the lobby and they were smirking the whole time...like "oooh look at me you probably think I'm hot" no I think you're Russian and look like you listen to Mumiy Troll. Lame. Next!

Nazi Ken with Ricecake, Berlin

2009-06-09T14:49:00.005-04:00

I went to Berlin and I got this Ken doll. I think his ricecake prop is a pretty good clue as to why I didn't take any pictures there, aka I was feeling too fat to engage with humanity. But anyways, there is a more pressing issue at hand: the eagle tattoo on this young Aryan gentleman's chest (it is part of the design it wasn't added on after!)

I could probably go check this on Wikipedia, but I prefer to speculate: isn't the eagle a Nazi symbol? Can someone educate me about this? Am I bein' ignant? I hope not because it was my secret dream to find something nazi-related in Germany, not because I like nazis, but because...it's lol. Ok? You can't deny the loliness of a nazi Ken!!!!!!!!!!

*Update: I just checked on Wikipedia and there is a eagle-like symbol holding a swastika but it doesn't really look like this one. Buuuut I'm going to maintain that this is a nazi Ken and not just a "rock 'n roll" Ken.

Jeanco, New Zealand via South Africa

2009-06-07T12:10:00.009-04:00

Submitted by Aimee: "he has a pathetic excuse for facial hair, that not quite right nose, pimples for miles and hardly an ounce of muscle.... an admirable quality"

White South Africans make me feel a little bit weird about being white especially since this guy looks like he could be the president of the afrikaans fraternity and golf club. But his girlfriend sent him in twice, and sending attachments twice is takes a lot of effort (not sarcasm...don't you hate sending attachments? So much mouse clicking and waiting...booooring...I usually quit half-way and have a nap on the floor because I'm too tired to walk to my bed)

Also, Aimee wrote a lot of things besides insults, aka about Jeanco being a good boyfriend, good in his heart, etc. But I got too tired to highlight the whole e-mail and ate a sandwich instead. I only have so much energy.

Outtakes, Le World (I'm French now)

2009-06-04T12:01:00.012-04:00

You know how singers make greatest hits albums because they run out of new songs or because they get dead? Or how movies put outtakes at the end cause they run out of movie? This is like that...I don't feel like taking pictures because I have been feeling fat + hating Paris\all its inhabitants minus maybe one (me) lately...This is because I am middle-class thus always feel I should be the emperor of the world and cannot handle reality...and also because I have a case of the s'posdas.

So I here I have put lots of pictures where keeping it real went wrong from happier days and hopefully I will be feeling hopeful again soon\refall in love with the Parisian electro pompadour\move to another city soon\stop wasting my youth.

From top: famous person, teen wolf, cheese hunks, man on queen w, tough guy (thinks he's such a tough guy)

Jean-Marie, France

2009-06-03T08:28:00.002-04:00

Submitted by Emily: "I met Jean-Marie this March on a French Exchange program with my school, we're good friends, but boy do I love to look at him."

Cyut. But I think I'm over French boys. Time to move to another country so i can live in eternal fantasy-land. That is until I'm barren and no one wants me anymore. Lalila

Jose + Rigo, Colombia

2009-06-01T11:29:00.005-04:00

I've been reading my diary from one year ago lately. It is not giving me the inspirational life advice I was looking for. But at leat I had the brilliant idea to give titles to all my journal entries...a selection:

-I Am So Sick of Being Alone

-I Want Someone to Irrationally Love Me

-But What if I Really Am Special?

-Genital Warts Again

This picture sums up pretty well how I got from the first entry to the last one...Heyoo!

Group of Freends, Paris

2009-05-30T09:45:00.006-04:00

Submitted by Bethsabée: "Here you have Alexandre, my favorite sexy grandpa, the handsome Jules, easy rider, and the DJ of all good weadings and parties, Martin. Ain't they so cute, enjoying a bit of countryside, after crazy nights?"

You know what's the best and then later the worst? When you're hanging out with a group of male friends and realize how attractive they all are and it makes you think "Oh man all this hotness must be a reflection of my own hotness...I'm sooo hot"...but then you remember that

a)They are not your boyfriends
b)People like boyfriending pretty girls and friending ugly funny ones*

*at least you're funny!!!! Beauty fades...FAAAAADES.

Beardo, Italia

2009-05-28T09:35:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Kerry: "Last summer i went on a trip to Europe with AMA (American Music Abroad). We went to Austria, Germany, and Italy...my friends and i decided that we were going to take ninja shots of all the hot guys so that we could bring them home so all of our friends would be jealous of us."

You know what is good about beardos? Beards hide weak chins and other facial problems. They also allow you to imagine that any hotness you want lurks behind them. Kind of how someone's only speaking italian allows you to imagine any hot personality you want. Unless they're wearing Billabong shirts? Yes even. I am being lenient with my criticism because:

a) europe =weird in the clothes\misunderstanding of the connotations of American brands
b) this was taken last year...and though billabong shirts weren't cool last year either...there was a time in the past where I wore an all camouflage outfit (with camouflage accessories!) so one must be forgiving of past mistakes.

Alex, Childhood

2009-05-21T07:22:00.008-04:00

I was trolling around on Facebook looking at other peoples personal marketing campaigns when I came upon this person I forgot I had added. Alex was my childhood best friend and our moms tried to smoosh us together like a Ken and a Barbie until we each moved away from home and beyond. At one point he was selling knives door to door and my mom bought some, then for a time whenever I visited home she would point at them and say "Look what Alex sold me! What a lovely young man! So handsome now! Also he's at Harvard", or while cutting the meat "Wow! Alex was right! These knives are great! p.s. Harvard."

He actually isn't at Harvard, that was just some weird lie. But he is a rocket scientist. And not the way that I am a rocket scientist as well according to facebook, but for reals.

Should have listened to mom and married/bought quality steak knives from him?

Thomas, Paris

2009-05-19T08:18:00.004-04:00

Yesss!!!!!! I have finally accomplished my personal goal of taking someone's picture on the subway. I've thought of this moment almost every day for a year. With the exception of those days when everyone on the subway is stinky and taking up too much space and you HATE THEM ALL.

Anyways...do you think its awkward going up to people on the street and then quickly running away? What about going up to them in an enclosed car and then...sort of walking away...then getting shoved back into them when you're trying to exit in a sea of people...then walking in the same direction at an inescapably equal pace that you cannot escape, either by walking faster or slower.

WAY WORSE!!!

BEST MUSIC VIDEO OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-15T10:00:00.010-04:00

Those of you who have read my monthly twitters will know that there was a secret project in which Pedro, Fritz, Jean-Christophe and Ira (the banner models) were involved. Well this is that.

I think they got a little bit too big for their britches after getting the banner contract (and yes there was a casting couch...the real world called, it wants its...you not being aware of it back). Anyways, they have gotten themselves embroiled in some sort of Milli Vanilli type scandal in which they have replaced a real, less attractive, band for public appearances. Do not care tho, it's their future public humiliation not mine. Disloyal tramps.

www.myspace.com\polluxfromrio

Boyband, Singapore

2009-05-14T01:56:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Peiwen: "They do make other girls/guys nervous but not me after knowing them since I was 9. Hope you like it =) p.s: Just hope they don't kill me "

You know when you're walking through chinatown\polishtown and you hear pop music and think "Haha other countries have famous people that are different than our famous people. Funny!" Yes. Funny. But in the end, friends, their pop stars are not so different from ours:

(From left)

-Nelson: The nice\young\mormon\buddhist one,
-Bin: The bad-ass\military\torturey one
-Nick: The joker\'funny' ;) one
-Andris: The hunk\solo career one.

Pop star names too am I right?

NERDRANOSAURUS, Edinburgh

2009-05-11T15:20:00.005-04:00

Submitted by N "Hai! I live with this boy! Isnt he nerdy and cute? He's an archaeology major so he likes getting dirty on his knees ... no but seriously he's a prude".

He is cyut! He would be even cyutter if we could see the alternative looking girl kissing him so as to contextualize his nerdiness (aka a zany nerd not an anal retentive, no wet sponges in the sink allowed or else silent treatment for weeks nerd)...but unfortunately she looks exactly like my high school arch-nemesis so she has turned into a DINOSAUR.

PLEASE LEAVE DINOSAUR-RELATED PUNS IN THE COMMENTS.

Jack, Amsterdam via Berlin via Australia via Beer

2009-05-10T15:40:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Megan "It's the middle of the night in Amsterdam, which is usually a sign that I'm doing something I'll regret, but blast it all, I'm sending in a picture I snapped of my friend on a recent trip to his artist colony bunker in scary East Berlin. He's actually Australian, and as an American I think it's safe to assume all North Americans hear the subtle *drop* of panties to the floor when an accent is attached to a cute, surly face. Well, enough middle of the night madness, this is Jack in all his surly glory (he makes this face 100% of the time; it is somewhat disconcerting when one is trying to provide said Jack with all the fun she has to offer, but I suppose it suits his sweet young face). If he ever sees this (although I did alert him to his possible looming internet celebrity, so it's not out of the question) I will be very embarrassed. In fact I'm already embarrassed. But still sending the picture. Enjoy!"

HAHAH. What a long drunk email. I like how the beer who sent this in (ultimately) is in the picture winking at us with its beery little eyes. I was going to cut it (the email) but then thought it was more of a winner like this.

This e-mail reminds me of the time I got drunk (by myself?) and facebook messaged my ex-boyfriend a long email about how I was happy for him that he had a new girlfriend BUT I was lonely and sad BUT in the end I was being the bigger man and then I blogged about how his new girlfriend had cross-eyes and then posted my bloglink as my facebook status...hihi...so sillay. Amirite?

Actually it's not like that time at all. Except that both cases involve alcohol and the internet and crazy. And both were things that were not funny the next morning but I assume will be funny 1 week to 5 years later when the boy becomes irrelevant (aka is dead to us...dead!). Unless he becomes sort of famous and we always see him floating around the internet aka in our dreams (for example...that would be one possible example in which it would never be funny).

Band Pictures, California

2009-05-08T10:16:00.007-04:00

Submitted by Tatiana: "The guys from (this band) are the cutest of the cute. I met them when they played two shows here in L.A. They are super nice."

I like these pictures because all three band members have freakishly symmetrical faces.

I dont like them because I should know what a band is all about by looking at their pictures, so that I can talk about them without having to listen to their music. Are they zany? Does their band use keyboards? Then why do these pictures look so country club? Is it because they are boring rich dudes who make rock? Then why do they have balloons instead of ivory backscratchers? Bored now.

Also I feel like the middle one especially has been given a makeover against his will.

These are like those WTF "Metronomy by Karl Lagerfield" ads. Has anyone seen those?? That's exactly what is happening here...which can be summed up as a lack of keeping it real.

Or: when keeping it real goes wrong.

1 YEARS OF BEING NERVOUS!!!!

2009-05-05T17:09:00.009-04:00

Hey woah it has already been one year of blog! Actually two days ago it was...Maybe I will start counting my life in internet years, which are like dog years because 1) they are shorter due to internet making hours (life?) pass by in minutes and 2) there are a lot of dogs on the internet these days am I right?

The following is a summary of the interyear. I am going to write the list like a French person would for the first few then I will get bored of that joke and just write normal:

-8 contry go to...9 if contry Basque is contry...12 if Franch count for 4 contry because of glorious

-5 indie famous people meeting (real life)

- 5 other indie famoos people meeting (internet life)

-100 times making the same joke

-1 time meeting skinniest and beardiest boy of them all

-10 times forgetting how many people I've done it with (you must write this down friends!!!!!!!!! It will make you feel more organized\less slutty somehow...

-20 times getting hit on (if you take pictures of boys this will happen to you too!)

-1 having weird crisis about if internet crushes on pictures is cheating

-1 ultimately decided it isn't

-1 weird teen stalker

-1 angry teen low self-esteem email (sorry teen! Please love yourself!)

-200 pounds lost making my plus size "lush and lovely" (like an English garden!)

-250 pounds regained making my plus size "sassy saucisson" (saucisson is French for sexy)

-4 copycat blogs that are more famous than me

-1 bitterness

-1 getting over French dudes

-60 pages of hit book written + 5 introductions + 20 page list\appendix

-The internet: priceless

-Internet fame: worthless...I mean...priceless

-My 300 boyfriends: priceless...unless you are offering me a really good price...I'M NOT MADE OF STONE

Cyut Gays, U.S.A

2009-05-03T12:30:00.004-04:00

Submitted by Adrienne: "This is my dear friend Perry and his boyfriend Daniel. He has adorable little strips in his eyebrows from coincidentally symmetrical accidents, eyes that twinkle all the time, and he once got very offended when Daniel told him that he just doesn't have what it takes to be an "east coast model."

Oh man, love the the gays. I think from now on I am only going to feature gays. I'm so sick of the straights. The more I sift through boy pictures the more I feel like an amorphous asexual blob of half internet/ half human. Don't get me wrong friends, your boyfriends are really cyut. But I'm starting to feel like a gynocologist feels about his wifes vagina except with men (as a whole, not only their vaginas).

Anyways, since I am asexual now and I am going purely on aesthetics...the gays will probably win most of my love from now on, or else until my next door neighbours stop having loud sex and grossing me out about heterosexuality.

WHO IS THE PERFECT MAN?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!

2009-04-30T08:38:00.011-04:00

I was talking to a friend of mine and she was saying that her preferred type is skinny, nerdy, arty guys with glasses...or else "big beefy Morrocan men". I judged her for a second until I remembered that I am exactly the same way except replace Morrocan with Latino because Latinos are more likely to think I'm cool just because I'm from North America.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE BEEFY AND ARTY? IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE SKINNY AND MACHO?? DOES THE PERFECT HYBRID MAN EXIST?!?! SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can we start a joke band out of homemade instruments that will become an indie sensation?

R U 2 skinny to enact a convincing rape fantasy?

Are you willing to listen to reggaeton ironically while I listen to it seriously?

Can we have an open relationship where we both have sex with other men????

Do you secretly want permission to stop smoking weed on the corner with your friends and instead make cupcakes in the shape of animals and turn our bedroom into a big cardboard spaceship that we can have art parties in?

Are U the perfect man?????????? Or will U cheat on me cause there are skinnier girls who are better at art who also want the perfect man?!?!?!?!?!??!??

Josh, San Diego

2009-04-28T16:16:00.005-04:00

Submitted by Erin: "This is Josh looking cool like a 1950s teenager on the beach."

When I first saw this picture in my inbox I was a little bit shmeh just another rayban d-lite showing some skin. Normal for me*. But the description just put him into a totally different context...made me "think outside the box"** if you will and made me feel nostalgic for a time when we were nostalgic about the 50s. .

You know who he is actually? Archie!!!!!!!!!!!! Or Reggie? A combination of the two?!!?!!? He is more physically like Reggie but looks nice in the personality like Archie.*** Maybe Archie made a Baby with Reggie and they called the baby Josh and then I saw the baby and the baby looked at me. Oh wait it's in California...MEN AREN'T ALLOWED TO MAKE BABIES WITH EACHOTHER THERE.

*There are five in my closet right now, but they are two dimensional and their blood is made of cardboard
** I invented that expression. I am quoting myself.
***His eyebrows are pointing up. That's what nice people eyebrows do.

Aleksandar and Matija, Croatia

2009-04-27T15:34:00.001-04:00

Submitted by Marta: "here is a picture of my two friends, Matija and Aleksandar...Matija is my best friend, he is a real heart breaker, although never touched mine, guess I know him tooooo well! :) Aleksandar is cute too, just looks funny here..."

Yea!!!! (That's how my mom spells "yay"). I just want to say how happy I am at all the international submissions lately. I think it is important, if we are all going to find love in this crazy globalized\internetty\real-ish world we are living in, that we get used to different, international varieties of "hunk" as well as new and exciting spellings of names we all know and love.

Plus I feel more internet famous.

p.s. the one in the background is obviously making a weird face so I won't make any quasimodo references...oh wait...I JUST did.