Quinn, Illinois

Submitted by Anon (but I know you name! so much power!): "This is Quinn, my high school boyfriend's best friend, who I always had a little crush on"

It's funny that you say he is from America when those are clearly canadian twenty dolladolla billz. It looks like they are having a really zany time on a roadtrip to the Toronto suburbs. Unless this is a fake fun photo.

Like this one time in Paris I saw an American teen couple looking really scared of all the scary black people on the metro and cowering with their backpacks. But then the boy said something like "hey watch me TAG this train. That means graffiti on it in the hip hop language. P.S. I'm really white" Then the girl took a video of him tagging the ceiling. Then he put some kooky star sunglasses and a fake mustache, they took a bunch of pictures, then they went back to not smiling and looking scared of the world.

The world is a lie!!!!!! is all I'm saying.

Eric, Arizona

Submitted by anonymous: "this boy is eric. eric makes me so nervous that every time i see him, i lie to myself and say that he doesn't remember me from the only time we ever talked at a (read: drunken) party. i do that because i have made up a persona so perfect about him that i refuse to break it by actually getting to know him. It's better that way."

Ya good call. That white guy fro could go either way. E.g. cool i like the modern rock and\or roll music on the one hand, "look at me it's zany eric with all the seinfeld quotes" on the other.

Bobby from Bobby submitted via Bobby's email

So this is Bobby. At first you may think there is something weird going on with his face but I think it's just that the headband is unaturally furrowing his brow making him look like an angry pho-eating cartoon character who's evil power is to eat all your noodles and meat and only leave you the broth and the MSG. But if we ignore the furrowing, the headband, and the clothing, he's actually a good-looking young gentleman.

Also this picture is funny: "no credit cards, only cash" it's like the perfect metaphor for Bobby, I bet.

Mushroom Dude, Chicago

Submitted by Philippe: "This is the Mushroom dude at the local Farmers' Market in Chicago"

Wait so is he the dude who sells eating mushrooms to the bourgeoisie? Or is he the guy who skulks around whispering "hashish, marijuana, shrooms" to all the people who look like people of ill repute* coughmecough. He looks like he could go either way.

*does this mean prostitute? I hope not. I just meant people with a general air of scumbaggery.

Drew + Friend, Glorious Canada

Submitted by Emily: This boy is my highschool crush. The first one was taken his last year of highschool (2 or 3 years ago) and the second one is more recent. Notice the great additions in the second picture? The subtle beard scruff, and cute toque. To die for.(....I have him on facebook, haha). To this day I have not gotten over this crush, and would give anything for an exuse to talk to him, and for him to have to reply, hahaha.

I don't know...I think he looks better without the beard. I don't like the shape of that beard it's too, on his neck. My friend met this guy the other night who had had all his facial hair laser removed to keep a look of eternal youth, he was gay obviously and apparently a little crazy but...maybe this could be a new trend for straights with extra disposable income?

I was talking with this same friend and we were comparing style of different cities and countries. He was all bla bla bla NY is the best because he had lived in NY. And then I was like, people in Toronto have kind of good style sometimes? And he was like "all the have is toques. That's their style. Toques*." Ya. touche I guess.

Anyways. So from what I gather Emily wants this guy to know that she submitted him so that they can finally have their long lost love? So I'm going to put an Oprah-like pedophile watch out to all you people except instead of looking for a pedophile so we can arrest him, we are looking for this guy somewhere in Canada (Toronto?) and telling him he's on this website so we can looove connection him. Got that? Everyone look outside your windooows....Now!

*ps american: toque means hats like that. i think you call them beanies or something else equally puh-thetic?

Dusty, America

Submitted by Elizabeth: "I'm submitting a photo of my dear husband, Dusty--I call him my Dustbunny. He is the quiet, musician type but with a great sense of humor [...blablabla I have the best husband -ed.]"

I'm sold. Totally babe. Though in this picture, if he wasn't wearing his plaid shirt and leather jacket he could be mistaken for an entirely different character a la Gummo.

Sidenote: Americans! What's wrong with you?!?!?!?!? Why don't you tell me where you're from? That's what Americans do. If you ask an American abroad where they're from they won't say "America" like the humble Pakistanis and Canadians. No they'll say Huntingon, or Hoosierville, or whatever other fucking place they come from and assume you know where that is. That's the spirit of America we're all looking for.

Update: Brandon (next post) is from Nashville

Brandon, America

Submitted by Amanda: "Hi. I am submitting a picture (actually two) of a cute boy. I have to admit that he is my husband. Is that breaking a rule of some sort? I am sure it is, I should have just lied. I couldn't decide which one of these pictures is better, so I thought I'd leave it up to your editorial expertise. In the second one, he is standing in our motley backyard drinking a cup of coffee, and in the first he's in our shitty hotel room bathroom in Vegas after 3 days of camping. For some reason his nose looks a little bigger in that picture than normal.

Anyway, his name is Brandon, he enjoys nachos, taking pictures, voting for Ralph Nader and being cheap. "